With his passionate energy and uncanny ability to connect, Matthew Hussey commanded the attention of everyone in the room from start to finish. Matthew is an expert love resident on the Today Show, a dating columnist for Cosmopolitan magazine, and a New York Times bestselling author and speaker. Two years ago, I attended one of his live events, so when I had the opportunity to cover the event for work, of course I said yes. Attending the event, it was amazing to see everything come full circle—not just how popular Matthew has become, but how much I learned about relationships in that time.

“Love doesn’t just happen. Luck is unbelievably rare in love.”

– Matthew Hussey

We’ve all heard our fair share of fateful encounter stories, leading many of us to believe that “our time will come” and our love lives will magically unfold like some epic romance novel. But that’s not reality. Hussey explains that in your love life, similar to other aspects of your life, you create the opportunities—you don’t wait for them to happen.

During the 7-hour event, not only did he provide a ton of valuable insights, but more importantly, he also created an upbeat, fun environment that made every woman in the room feel unstoppable. He got us all in the right mindset—so confident and energized that we felt as though we could walk out onto the streets of New York City and get a date with that perfect someone for us.

“People are always showing you who they are.

 If you pay attention you will always see.”

– Matthew Hussey

His explanation of red flags struck a chord with me because of how relatable and refreshingly authentic it was. Interestingly, you can see all the warning signs within the first week of dating someone. If you know what to look for, you can save yourself from wasting months or even years with a partner who isn’t a good fit.

In other words, stop overanalyzing your partner’s text messages and what he says. Focus on his actions and how much time and effort he is investing, and you’ll find out who he is and what his intentions are much quicker.

Not only was Hussey’s advice practical and easy to connect to, I was also impressed that he entertained and engaged everyone for the entire seven hours. During some moments, it felt like he was having an intimate conversation with the audience—I could imagine myself sitting across from him, cracking up at Starbucks—and then at other moments I felt so energized—like I was at a party with him having the time of my life. It’s obvious he loves what he does, and he’s genuinely rooting for you to succeed.

One of the most profound takeaways was: If you start getting excited about the dating process, rather than focusing on the outcome, it will significantly improve your love life. This means enjoying where you are right now, and understanding that being a success with the opposite sex has little to do with being in a relationship right now.

Click here to see Rose’s tips for healthy and happy relationships