“People grow and relationships change–this is all part of life. Some friendships are meant to end so you can create space for something better.”
-Rose Caiola
This is a tough subject to approach, but the question is: how many times do we all look at long term friendships and wonder why we are still in them? Is it nostalgia, comfort with the known or just a fear of being alone?
The truth is that friendships are also relationships, and sometimes one has to stop and look closely at what a friendship with someone else is bringing into our life. Many times, as we move forward in life – grow, change, expand and evolve – we find that others around us are no longer in sync with who we are today.
All relationships – romances, family and friendships – are lessons. They are experiences that we need to have. These people are all our teachers on the path of life that we are taking. But what happens when someone is no longer serving our highest good, and perhaps even impeding our growth?
It is just as necessary to clean out the closet of friends we carry with us on our journey, as it is to clean out our closets in the spring. The more space you make in the closet, the more room there is for new possibilities and new friends moving in the same direction as we are. The key here is to gently and kindly let go of the old ones who no longer resonate, with love and compassion for their own journeys.
According to a very wise teacher and mentor of mine, Joseph Aldo, and his amazing spiritual growth techniques – such as this excerpt from Aldo’s patient guide, “Cutting Cords Meditation”:
When you engage in relationships that are not empowering and support the brilliance that you are, projecting on others your negative mental and emotional states, you create these cords of disempowerment that extend from your being (chakras and energy field) to others. These cords are limiting and weakening, perpetuating a life of dis-ease – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The Cutting Cords Meditation supports the letting go of old ties and disempowering relationships. It allows you to ‘call your power back’ and release the other from your projections. In this meditation you take full responsibility for all that has occurred in the relationship and honor the person for being a part of the experience, a catalyst but not the cause.
As I have done extensive work with another mentor of mine, Robert Volinsky – who is an expert at coaching his clients on the process of cord cutting and spiritual growth – I realized that I was running a similar pattern with various people in my life: old friends, romantic partners, even family members. As I continued down the journey with Robert, it became so clear: as I released old patterns of dysfunction and disempowerment, several relationships began to disintegrate rapidly, and I saw these patterns replayed over and over again in my life. Letting go of those people, and wishing them well on their way, has been such an opportunity for me to step forward and continue on my chosen path without those old burdens.
I encourage everyone to take stock, do some evaluation, consider thoughtfully who you welcome into your life and with whom you continue to share it. Remember a handful of true, honest friends who partake in our lives and put in equal amounts of love and effort, are worth more than a Facebook page filled with hundreds of friends who aren’t really there for you.
