I met Steve some seven years ago when I hired his company to do some work in my home. There was an instant connection. We seemed to relate to life in the same way and at times would find ourselves deep in conversation about the true meaning of life. When you spend a lot of time at someone’s home, you get a real sense of their taste: what type of furniture they like, what books they read, and what kind of artwork and photos they enjoy being surrounded by. Steve noticed that I had large crystals, photos of Hindu deities, statues of the Buddha, and such throughout my house and said he had something he thought I’d like.

The next time he came over, he brought it with him. It was a bronze statue, about 2½ feet high, of the Hindu deity Shiva, the destroyer of the world—or at least of the ego, as the Hindu belief system holds that nothing is truly destroyed in death except our illusion of individuality. Shiva’s purifying powers allow us to see more clearly, as destruction allows for new creation. The statue had belonged to Steve’s grandfather, and he’d kept it for years only because he thought it might be valuable. But now he saw it as something I would love having for its own beauty and power. He was right!

The only problem was that Steve’s three-year-old son was very upset that Shiva no longer sat on top of their bookshelf. I admire Steve for many things, and his way of handling this situation is typical of the grace and intelligence that are evident in everything he does.

“Three great things happened when I decided to give you that statue,” he told me:

1. “You were made happy.
2. I took pride in myself for personal growth.
3. I had a great talk with my son about Shiva, and how he is the creator and destroyer. He had become attached to the statue and was upset that I was taking away something that he claimed as ours. He eventually accepted my explanation. I told him how I thought you would appreciate it more than we did. When he understood that, he wanted you to have it, too. From this I could see that my son was kind and understanding—two traits that are not in evidence in his normal routine with his baby sister!”

I was deeply touched by Steve’s explanation, and so grateful to see the beautiful ripple effect that spreads from the deep and meaningful connections we make with others. The statue sits on a shelf in my office. It fills me with a sense of kindness and compassion, and every day I smile when I walk past it. This statue of Shiva is not “mine,” but it stands as a reminder of the transformative power good friends have with each other and my gratitude for the supremely selfless gesture of my friend.

Rose Caiola
Inspired. Rewired.