Finding the right gift for your significant other can be a challenge, regardless of whether you’ve just started dating or you’ve been together for years. Will your partner choose something sentimental and thoughtful? Or go above and beyond with something extravagant? It’s daunting to look for a gift that’s thoughtful yet appropriate, and if you two aren’t on the same page, what’s meant to be a joyous occasion can become an awkward mishap.

Some gifts are appropriate if you’ve been dating for three months, while others are better suited for the three-year mark. Whether you are dating, in a committed relationship, or married, this holiday gift guide will help you figure out the right present to express how you feel.

Dating: Give a personalized accessory

For her, this could mean a necklace set with her favorite stone, or engraved with a message that’s special to both of you. For him, it could mean a new watch because the one he has is looking a little worse for the wear, or a new leather briefcase that will impress the boss at his new job. A personalized accessory can be modest in price, while still demonstrating that you’re paying attention. The point here is to show that you care by giving a gift that has some sort of sentimental value to it.

Committed: Make a scrapbook

Collect pictures of the two of you and create a photo album that tells the story of your relationship. It doesn’t matter if you’re artsy and creative or all thumbs—you can let the photos speak for themselves. A scrapbook is a simple and heartfelt way to relive your romance and immortalize your memories, and you’ll both enjoy looking at it for years to come. It’s the perfect gift to show how grateful you are to have your partner in your life.

Married: Take a trip together

A vacation with your spouse can be expensive, but it can also be a romantic, fun, and thoughtful gift. Whether you plan a relaxing beach getaway or a weekend on the ski slopes, a trip is a great opportunity to spend some quality time together and focus on the two of you. Even if you can’t splurge to go out of town, you can still create a vacation atmosphere while staying local by gifting a spa day or an excursion to a nearby winery. By gifting an experience you can share as a couple, you’re telling your spouse that time together is the best gift you can think of!

At every stage

To make your gift personal, ask yourself: What is he or she interested in and passionate about? Would my partner prefer something practical or something more luxurious? You know your significant other better than anyone, so don’t stress about coming up with gift ideas. You can take something ordinary and turn it into something warm and thoughtful—and maybe even score a kiss under the mistletoe!

Click here to see Rose’s tips for healthy and happy relationships